last days and home at last.

loose ends on wednesday 3/10 -

The day was spent having fun as a family. We had one last hurrah at the rooftop pool, packed, and met again with the women who run MFH. After dinner, we headed to MFH for their special bi-weekly kids church service (featuring a disco ball - I was excited!) The kids on the orange team led the service, and it really showcased the teamwork and leadership skills they develop there. Ethel (17) did the reading and spoke. SHe is an example of how awesome this group is at helping these kids find a future for themselves. She will further her education after leaving MFH in the near future - and let me tell you, she is a pleasure to hear speak in public - no mumbling, no tripping over her words...she is a natural leader. And she's not alone - she's the reason they rescue kids!

Then, after the service...the most memorable singing of Happy birthday I will ever have. The called me to a chair and had all these beautiful voices sing Happy Birthday to me - and brought me a cake! They sang 2 times (you know how kids have to do the "cha cha cha" or "WOO!" version of the songs? well, it is universal.) There is something about having that song as a gift, i just adored it! (although i am sure it would surprise you to know I am uncomfortable with all eyes on me)...

Next piece of work: find the 2 sets of 3 that are moving to MT for a photo. as i assembled the montana kids, a little crowd emerged - they all wanted to have photos taken, to be mothered. They called me MamaCamille and wanted hugs, a photo, wanted to know if i remembered them. They have the most beautiful eyes. It makes me sad for them, because even though MFH is doing great work to develop the kids to live on their own and be leaders, they want a mom and dad. I look at Ethel, and i think that she DESERVES parents. all children deserve a mom and dad - such a fundamental need for a child: but looking in their little faces makes it harder to know that most of them will stay here and never know the feeling of having their own immediate family.

And then the hard thing - looking over at my 3 playing bball with their new buddies. They are precious, gorgeous boys...but they have not been perfect this week. And i wonder if the situation was reversed: would Coop and Henry be adoptable? Probably Coop would, he's got an understanding of when to 'look good' and behave - for the most part. But dear Henry? please don't get me wrong - I love Henry, but he's not ever been an 'easy' kid. I am pretty sure he'd be the kid that wouldn't make the cut. Too difficult for a family to take on. But they are mine, so i have the luxury of not worrying about it.

We had the most difficult time leaving. Many kids cried. many grown ups cried. it is bittersweet: the kids want to be happy for Rey, but can you imagine standing there, watching your friend walk off with his new family? Knowing that you may never get that?

3/11
Awoke at 3, left for airport at 4. experienced the most ridiculous and random security checks ever. I think there were 3 checkpoints, there could have been more. Getting seats together was just NOT going to happen. We had 4 in one row, 1 in another (because when purchasing the tix, rey's was a separate booking, as a one way). They didn't give the traditional safety video on this one: instead, the Captain came on and gave a speech about how heavy the plane was, and that we're not to stand in the aisles and congregate. and that turbulence could kill you. greeeeeeeeeaaaaaatt. this was not the safety check that i wanted.

We flew and flew. and then flew some more. Oh, and then we flew. All 3 kids were drugged with dramamine for the 10 hour flight, and all three SLEPT! I watched Blindside and cried, part of the soloist...flirted with sleep, but never sealed the deal. We arrived in Boise at 5:30 to a crowd of friends old and new to welcome us. It was wonderful, and Rey was all smiles! We went home and began the several hours of laundry, and David took Coop & Rey to the Y to play out some energy on the bball court. Everyone safely tucked in beds at 9:30.

I awoke at 4 because i heard something. It was the dog, all excited for the activity in the basement: Rey assembling his razor scooter. How funny! In any event, the day was one of discoveries (grilled cheese and chocolate cookies get a firm 'thumbs up") and quiet fun. we're finding a rhythm as a family of five...we'll let you know how it goes!

a moment to thank everyone for the food, the support, and gifts! It is a great ride so far, and we;ll keep you posted on how it is going - i plan to keep the blog at www.adoptingrey.blogspot.com. if you sign up as a follower, i think it emails you when i update...

Tuesday was our day to choose what we wanted to do, but we had no car access, so we took the hotel shuttle to the mall.

lesson learned: when the shuttle driver says "be careful" as he drops you off....DON'T GET OUT OF THE CAR!

We could see another mall from the hotel, and were looking for a souvenir shop, so we thought we'd go to the other mall. We did not read the subtle reactions of the hotel employees properly and ended up at this scary mall - it was crowded and dirty and 'an experience'. We made short order of getting over to the nice mall, but while waiting for the shuttle, we watched 3 young boys in oversized, holey shirts with filthy faces and feet playing and running out into traffic. You should have seen the look on Henry's face - Giant eyes. It was a good thing to see, though. and a good thing to leave. (this mall even had the men dressed as women selling trinkets - one looked at coop and said "like barbie" and Coop was on me like white on rice.)

Next stop: the other mall for a swimsuit that fits. Rey is thin, and he was losing his drawers in the pool. We ate and shopped and got out of there to head to the orphanage to play. The kids wanted to run around a bit, and there's just no place for that. No parks or open space near the hotel for us to just run around, like young boys need. We can't walk anywhere. In fact, the mall has a gameworks and that is probably the stop for today. goody, you know i just love the mall!! :)

Upon arrival to the orphanage, the kids just took off to play! Doris, who adopted a baby that was dropped at MFH, was waiting for us. MFH is not equipped for babies, so they had to place the baby immediately. It has been 9 months since the adoption and little Isabella Daniela is adorable. Doris owns a FANCY salon and also a publishing house with 21 publications. (see? wealth and poverty...) and whisked us away to have a service. We both had the "Royal Treatment".

After we were 'dolled up', the kids were brought to us and we headed back to the hotel, had dinner poolside (MAJOR amounts of garlic - WHOOOOWEEE!), swam, and headed to bed. I began to pack. That is bittersweet. I want to get home, but I want to experience more. Rerey must have mixed feelings as well. He is very excited to fly home 'america', but even what we consider more comfortable won't feel like home to him.

Today is a day of squeezing in last things. A trip to MFH for their wednesday night church service - a must do! Some daytime swimming on the roof (we PROMISED the boys) and me turning 40! whew!

email update 3/9

Monday had it all. It was "up & at 'em" first thing and off to an adventure in downtown Manila. It was a long drive, but it reminded me of driving into Seattle: busy with traffic, but no one is really getting at top speeds like in the US. We went through the city to the Adoption board to obtain the necessary papers to 1) leave manila and 2) enter the US. What should have taken 30 minutes tops, took about 90 minutes. There was a mispelling and the papers needed a reprint. The kids held it together though! They provided a few snacks and coffee and so we were good to go!

Then we headed to KFC for what coop believes to be filippino fried chicken (it's at a lot of filippino events, and i don't think he's ever been to the KFC in the US!) hahaha. (just a note here: feeding 8 people cost us something like $15. (i KNOW!) cheeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaap! Then we started what i think was one of the best/worst parts of the trip so far. We drove through DT to Fort Santiago. I had my video running to capture this stuff! It was wild. cars, people, cars, cabs, waaaaaah! The kids were coming unglued and getting sick, so we did a little reconfigure and everything was better. Dess is Henry's new bud as they sat together...Dess now knows ALL Henry's knock knock Jokes. lucky lucky Dess. (side bar about Dess: I love him. I love his heart and how patient he is. I love that he is my soul mate with the cameras and it was not unlike being on this trip with my Dad: we posed here and there and oops, one more please. Ultimately, i love what he has been for Rey and what kinds of lengths he will go to for children and mommies like me. Superdess.)

Fort Santiago (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fort_Santiago) is a former fortress which is now a restored national site which houses the museum of Jose Rizal, The national hero and renaissance man. We took the two headed cow stuffed animal from the Id hist museum and had his pic there. He has become quite the little friend on our trip! This is where the kids got those goofy hats - they can be worn two ways - and of course we prefer the one that looks like a pumpkin. :) We managed to look like NERDS (".....paging the grizwalds.....") through the place. oh well! This place was hot like FI-YAH! so we got water and headed off to Ocean Park Aqurium.

Ocean Park is really fantastic - we loved seeing all the fish. They had a tide pool thing where you can pet the sea slugs and whatnot, the overhead tanks of sharks and BIG stingrays, and all number of cool things. There was also a display of fish embryos developing in stages. It was a great AIR CONDITIONED break. We then drove by the Mall of asia which gave me palpitations in the bad way (you should have seen the size of it!) and began to head home. Thank God Raymond didn't stop, i think there would have been a mutiny!

On the way home, Dess and Raymond took us by some significant places. I had sent a message a while back that i wanted to capture some images for Rey's later life - not for now - of where he came from. First we drove to the area where Rey was found on the street. It was busy with traffic and crowded, so I just snapped a few pics from the car. Also, Superdess jumped out and took pictures of the area. The next stop was harder - it's the squatter area where Rey was raised. Again, Superdess took care of business - jumping out to get a few memories for us. (i told you he is just awesome, didn't I!?!) I looked back at the sleeping boy with his ipod buds hanging out of his ears, legs akimbo, flopped half on his brother coop, and it was really hard. maybe it's because it's not that hard to imagine him in a stretched out shirt, dirty bare feet and begging for money. There were kids just like that all over. We started asking Dess more about what he knows about Rey. We got the kind of thing that you should know, but you don't want to know. We got some answers, and some reasons to KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT that he is a walking miracle! He really is. for ex: this place has TB. Most social workers that go work in the streets end up getting treatment. But rey lived there, was exposed...and has never shown signs of it. Perfect chest exray. ??? YAH! He's got some good stock & angels watching over him. I included a pic over the canal from Ft Santiago of some dwellings. I have seen worse here and better (and mansions and BMWs!) but this is a typical scene.

we came 'home' to the hotel and had room service (feed a family of 5 roomservice for $20? seriously!) and then hit the rooftop pool AGAIN!

but one interesting moment that was really sad - we had a local guy asking us some questions about why we are here (many locals have asked this, and they think we are rich, and they think we have a house here). He turned to Rey and asked him some questions in english and Tagalog: one was "where is your mommy?" (OF COURSE REY POINTED TO ME!! ) but the guy said "no, i mean your real mommy" and you should have seen Rey's face fall. i mean it DROPPED FLAT. We ended the convo and i made sure to smooth it over. But i anticipate we just got the first of many people asking things like that. It is gonna happen. The guy was just curious, meant no harm. But a comment like that doesn't go un-noted by a kid. It will take time to smooth this over.

Okay, are you sick of me yet? :) I can put one of those 'unsubscribe' messages at the bottom of the page?
how awkward it will be when i keep sending these from Boise. They will be like " oh , today i went to WINCO, and then i had the car washed. I cut my finger on the phone bill ...blah blah blah."
oh, i kill me.

just 2 days left, and an EARLY FLIGHT on thursday.
We are playing it close to home today. Canceled 6hr rt to beach for a low key day swimming/bowling/arcade at mall. :)
I may not have souvenirs for anyone at this rate, so please forgive. You can come see the best souvenir of all.


ps: here's something that my co-adoptive mommy Rebecca shared.
(get the kleenex)

all my love,
Camille

"Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.

1. The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

email update 3/8

Sunday -
today was our least structured day so far. we had set plans at 3:30, but were free until that time, so after breakfast we headed to the mall. we picked up books and walked through, but the kids were not really 'into' shopping, so we hit the grocery and then went back to the hotel to swim.

the hotel pool is like pools in boise - no heat, a WELCOME relief from the 90s heat. We played "marco lolo" (lolo=grandpa, and we thought it sounded funny...) lots of laughter during this game. also, it exhausts the players. (yay!) we came down, got dressed for church (which was rocking, btw! they can really blast the tunes there!!) and had a little bite to eat. Rey is Henry's soul mate on the nutella issue. they both want nutella/pb sandwich every moment of the day. :) oh boy, increase the budget! coop got a little sunburn on those cheekies. thank goodness for the swim tops!

Walking with the three is interesting. Rey is very independent in public, very confident. He is not a little boy. so he walks kind of in front and all over. the net effect is kids kind of walking wherever the heck they want, snaking around. It is hard for me to keep track, and the it makes me anxious. so i keep telling them to fall back and stay together. It is driving rey crazy, but i guess he'll get over it. and as we get into a groove, i will loosen up. It is just 'one of those things'. i asked him "who is in charge: rey or mommy?" ....he smiled and said "mommy...." so there you go!

Saturday night was my first little tinge of homesickness (missing my bed and my regular boring life), and i could see little bits of that appearing in Coop & henry too. Especially as they are not used to go go go go go. when they begin the meltdown process, they just want to go home.

That's the thing about all this - Rey is our son, and i don't doubt fr a second that we are doing the right thing. But just because we are doing it does not mean it is easy all the time. (is anything worth doing EASY all the time?) Right now it is like we have an exchange student with us...except stronger than that...but you get my drift. Like we are all kind of trying to be 'nice'. like i don't want him to see my nasty mean mommy face. it's a lot of coping mechanisms. :) Last night the kids spread out with books and/or ipods and all had some alone time. it was great, and i am thankful for cooper who can actually articulate that he wants to be by himself. thankful for a hotel room that will allow for it! and thankful that after 45 minutes i discovered all 3 boys crawled in together watching woody woodpecker. very reassuring to mommy.

okay, one more note on this adventure: Jollibee at the mall on a sunday night = unpleasant mommy. The mall is huge. h u g e. like 4 floors and the layout is all over - you can't just go up or down, they have the escalators liked up so you have to explore a bit. They have movies, arcade, a train (yah!) and all kinds of fun there. we FINALLY found jolibee - the pinoy mcdonalds - and went up to order. well guess what? we don't know what the heck to order! and there are huge crowds and i am all flustered because it it LOUD and i am deaf. a nice lady cam out and took our order. so WHEW! better!! Coop is a champ and ate everything. As did Rey and mom and Dad. Henry ate rice. the hotdog tasted different and had a little cheesy sauce in it and he didn't want it. we cleaned it off (i'll spare you the details, but i was mortified by HOW david did this. i think i can never go in there again!!) he still wouldn't eat it! brat. hopefully today will go a teensy bit more smoothly.

Monday is ICAB day. That is government appt day. It will be great, but it is serious business - happy and sad. Our trip is halfway over. Rey wants already to fly home. more on THAT tomorrow!

here is one of the few pics i took yesterday: rey with his new obnoxious flip flops. this is what happens when DADDY helps you pick your shoes!

godbless!

email update 3/7

Saturday was a loooooong day for us.
we had our first cycle of sleeping, getting dressed, and eating as 5.
there are some 'homeworks' we got from MFH that were david's job - explaining showers was the first. It is common in places where water is at a premium to use more effective means for washing - mainly they shower by pouring the water than having it pumped through a showerhead. So David got to go in an explain to rey. But then we had the added joy of the lack of hot water. We find it refreshing - the water is not COLD, it is just cooler than body temp and that can be not very pleasant for the shortest and blondest members of the family. Let's just say that the provincial charm is wearing off in that particular dept. Rey was a trooper and just took care of business. coop washed what appears to be half of himself, and henry HOWLED through the shower.

We ate breakfast of more omlets, mangoes, papaya, mango juice, and BACON (there is an endless supply of bacon at this hotel which almost makes up for the cool showers!) and then got ready to go to Enchanted Kingdom. Ramah (social wrkr), her husband Erwin, their MOST ADORABLE daughter EC (will attach a pic), and Dess (Rey's social wrkr) drove us out to this great theme park. We found all the rides where men scream like girls. we found all the rides where you get soaked. We found the snack bar. we even found shade. all in all it was wonderful but hot and STICKY. We had a ball, and i know that scientifically having the brains of these kids releasing some 'good' hormones while sharing an experience is an essential building block for family.

I forget that we are conspicuous here - Imagine being a small quaint town and having the crew from "Jersey Shore" show up? that's what i feel we're like - the cultural differences of body language and how we use our hands to speak (oh, and the "come here" sign in USA is VERY DIFFERENT here- NOT in a good way *ahem*) . I have made the mistake only 50 million times. I was asked if Cooper's hair is his natural color (thank GOD they didn't ask me the same thing)

Then we headed upcountry to see the Marcos' house (we actually went to tour the land and see the cool volcano and the crater, but the road ends at the Marcos' - now called "Peoples' Park".) Dess was brave enough to risk his life to take pics from the side of the road. We used the opportunity to have a word with the blond mccauleys as they were soooooooooooooooo burned out they got to that point of no return. I was just praying that we'd get back to our hotel quickly. (seriously, they were crazy, i know that Barclay understands me right now!!!) Rey was asleep. smart boy: non culpability.

The poverty here is difficult to explain. There are BMW showrooms and fancy gated communities and then miles and miles of corrugated tin patched shacks. barefoot children playing on the side of the road. I wasn't comfortable rolling down the window and snapping pics like i am on safari, but hopefully i can capture some on film. Trash all over the sides of the road in the poorer areas.

We came home, swam, and then ate room service. It looked like way too much food when it came, but Rey is 11, so there you go. we have a little left for snacks and whatnot. I will be increasing the grocery budget asap. then bed. David and i can BARELY make it to 8:30 and then we're awake at 3:30. not really worth fixing. SO GLAD I BROUGHT STARBUCKS with me. and filters. :)

The three boys are figuring their way together. Three can be hard, especially with the jealousy and 'fair' issue between Coop and Henry. I saw henry struggling to hold on to rey, and i had to just say 'you can just hug him, honey' - and he threw his arms around rey's waist. It's not like he hadn't been hanging on him every moment, because he has been great; he just couldn't decide at that moment how to read rey's body language. Rey's new phrase of the day is "boys, no fighting" and i think "AMEN!".

We brought Tangeos (little shape puzzle things), an ed emberly drawing book, and a friendship bracelet kit. Rey is really interested in all of them, and i am sure they are great stimlulators. he likes to make things with his hands - i may have to drag him to Washington for art even when i am NOT teaching. just for the experiences of making and following directions!

do me a favor and go get in your bed for a second and just LOVE it. love your pillow and your yummy bed. i miss mine, can you tell?

today we go to the mall. QUIT LAUGHING AT ME!!! i know you know how much i LOVE the mall. NOT! well, this will be a good one, rey wants sunglasses and needs flip flops. :) (and he wants a bike. not on THIS trip, honey.)

email update 3/6

We had a wonderful day yesterday (Friday)

We left for the orphanage at around 1:30, full of anticipation! We arrived to the gate of the property, and the kids were all in colorful uniforms with little pom-poms cheering the arrival of Rey's family. It was so wonderful - of course Rey was right there to give hugs and be up front.

From there we toured the facility - it is small but not cramped. There are a few buildings and they are beautiful and spotless. It is also colorful and really a cheerful place. The children play all around the common areas - it is well used and cared for. We got to see all the kids' areas - they are split by gender and age and their beds are cleaner than a military facility! very nice.

Then we had a ceremony called "entrustment" not unlike a wedding. We had songs and prayers and the kids volunteered to speak and wish Rey well (mostly they told him to be a good boy) and that they will miss him. Honestly, this was the most difficult thing to watch, as the kids really have no concept of forever at their tender ages. The sweetest thing is all the littlest ones who just love Rey working to overcome their shyness to speak to him and then they come hug him. When they come, he usually holds their cheeks and looks in their eyes. It is just so touching. What a wonderful kid. Two of his friends will be moving to Hamilton, MT - so that is nice to know that we will have a connection for him in the near future!)

Coop and henry fit right in and had a great time getting SUPER sweaty and playing basketball with all the kiddos. Rey actually looked all over for me and then found me and....handed me coop's glasses. he's a caretaker for sure.

so, i bet you want to know how flipping hard it was to drive away from that place? Well let me tell you, it was as hard as you think. The kids. they are so joyous and truly happy for Rey, but then when it is time to got they are singing a goodbye song and just soooo super sweet. they are up to the car and wanting to come, and there's coop, leaning out saying "quick, jump in!" and i was with him on this one. Can't help but want to bring them all home. They feel the need for a mommy and daddy so deeply that they'd go with a stranger, no problem.

That is the thing i wasn't really expecting - how totally affectionate they are. not finding the right words....well, the kids just want to have you look at them and talk to them. there was a little guy in orange who kept running up and grabbing my hand and then running off. The kids would ask my name and then just want to talk in broken english. So desperately shopping for parents. But they are not sad, they are happy and to hear the stories of how far some have come. Some have been abused or abandoned, and there was one who couldn't walk when he came 4 months ago - but he's now singing and taking a big bow after. These are the lucky kids.

okay, i had better try a teeny nap - my time is a mess!

email update 3/5

kumesta! (hello/how are you!)
you say: "mabuti rin" (I'm good)

We made it!

We had a smooth trip boise-Portland-Tokyo ( in true boise style we happened to be on the flight with an old friend Lorraine Kerr going on to singapore!)
Coop only had one quick episode (landing in Tokyo) of emptying into the barf bag and it was over. and he felt better.)

the tokyo-manila flight was the bumpiest, messiest, most cramped, stinky, screaming baby laden flight I have ever been on in my life. maybe my adventurous spirit was just spent by then (it was nearly 24 hours that i had been up?) Henry crashed HARD on that leg. it was so bumpy that the sodas and juice were flying. wow. I spent ample amounts of time in prayer (hahahaha!) and making sure the barf bag as close at hand.

we got off the plane and made it through customs & baggage claim in fairly short order and went outside where a car zipped up and who popped out??
you guessed it! REY! What a fantastic surprise for us. Deanna (the head of MFH) brought cool shirts "Just" 'became' and "brothers" ! I'll try to send a pic. It felt like I was on a reality show or something. Rey and david rode jump seat in the back, and Rey wouldn't let go of his hand. And then he told him that his arms are hairy. lol.

We drove in crazy manila traffic to the hotel, hitting bed after 1 am local time: 10 am boise. that was the 25 hour mark for us. Rey went back to MFH for one last night. No tears - but hard to explain to the kids...

Breakfast was wonderful and the fruit here is fantastic! Mango & papaya especially sweet. David had hardboiled quail eggs with 'rooster sauce' - do you guys call it rooster sauce too? ha. I ate TONS. I have a food baby now.

We are heading to the orphanage very soon - i am sure this will be an emotional day for all of us. Yesterday Deanna mentioned that they will be getting many new children at MFH as they have had 4 adoptions recently (our friends from boise were here just last week for their daughters!)
We will have a nice ceremony at the orphanage - i hear that it is powerful, and that the group there tapes it so we can just enjoy. Isn't that amazing? love them. They are doing great work here. The kids are truly blessed to have these amazing social workers in their lives.

okay, have a great day/night.

here's the time diff calculations incase you wanted to know:
Boise - Manila: boise time + 15 hours (or you can cheat - +3 & switch am/pm) for ex: 7pm boise=10am manila tomorrow
Seattle - Manila: seattle +16 hrs

ps: weather here is H U M I D and in 90s during the day. :)

BYE!

the 4 mccauleys (for abt 2 more hrs)